Welcome to AbileneLoving.com! Abilene Loving is an advice columnist and reviewer. Her fantasy house, above, is the place where no problem is too big to solve, no issue too small to discuss, no person too old to get enjoyment out of life. Abilene herself is 63. She spent most of her life as a journalist, and she credits the school of hard knocks for her best education. To read or submit advice columns, click either the Advice or Ask categories on the right. To read or submit book, movie or "anything goes" reviews or comments, click the Reviews category. To join the book club, click Reviews category, then Books.
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Hi, I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for three years, and we have been in different universities for about two years. We see each other for a weekend every other week. We are both 20. Recently, I don't really miss him, don't get jealous. It feels very routine when we see each other and, dare I say, slightly boring. I haven't done anything with anyone else while in this relationship, but I have gotten attention from other boys and it feels nice. All my boyfriend has been saying recently is I love you, I miss you, and something sexual like can't wait to be in bed with you all day. That can be nice, but there should be more content in a conversation. When I ask about his day and start talking about something, he will either not be talkative or just say "I love you" when I'm trying to have a good discussion.. I don't really know how I feel, I do still love him but feel slightly trapped. My family loves him, and there's been so much history. Advice on this overall situation and maybe advice to get the spark back? People say to do something different like a good date night, go out for food, a day out, etc. but we have done that. . .
My husband of 58 years has stopped telling me he loves me unless I say it first. We no longer are intimate through no fault of his. He is impotent now for 7 years, and medication will not work. Otherwise he is in excellent health. I miss our love life very much, and I still would like to cuddle and kiss, but I only get a peck on the lips when he goes somewhere. He is very good to me, but this makes my life feel so empty. Also, I never get a compliment except on my good cooking. I take very good care of myself, and everyone tells me I look much younger than my 77 years. Other men compliment me, and honestly I am attracted to some of them. What should I do to try to get my husband's attention? He is a very handsome man, and I feel terrible he is no longer able to have sex. He was always a very good lover.
My husband is 62 and I'm 50. We have been married for two years, and he is the perfect husband. He supports me financially and loves me and shows me a lot of affection and attention, but when we go out, he stares at other women like he wants to dump me right then and there and gives them all the attention and flirts with them. I caught him doing this with my sister-in-law also and it really hurts me. I don't want to go anywhere with him anymore. I am scared I'll get so upset that I will want to end my marriage. I know it sounds crazy, but he has such intense looks at other women, it's like he loves them. Women love it naturally. It's a back-and-forth flirt. As a result I don't believe in his love and I don't really trust him. I asked him about it, and he denies it and says its all in my mind.
Let the reading begin!
We’ll start with reality fiction, of which Richard Ford is a master. His new book is Canada, available in hard cover and on e-books. Ford chronicles a robbery, a suicide, the disintegration of a family, two murders — all measure by measure. If you ever asked the question, “How did they ever live through that?” you will know. They just kept taking one step at a time, eating when possible, staying away from goons, knowing when to accept help, noticing things carefully, thinking as little as possible.
Another Ford book, The Sportswriter, is the
Rescue Me, He’s Wearing a Moose Hat
And 40 Other Dates After 50
By Sherry Halperin
Seal Press, 2005
For single women over 50, this book is a must read. Halperin was widowed in her early 50s. When she recovered her equilibrium, she accepted blind dates from friends and subscribed to a number of Personals services. Her adventures through her many misfires are hilarious.
For example, “Jerry” started off the relationship by talking a little dirty on the telephone. It was a turnoff but also fascinating. Halperin decided to meet him for coffee. He said he’d be wearing a
What is aging? It’s getting older, one nasty, little wrinkle at a time. It’s getting spider veins and arthritis and fibromyalgia and high blood pressure. It’s not being able to eat hot Mexican food followed by a quart of chocolate ice dream. It’s giving up smoking and hard alcohol and red meat and long hikes.
Aging is being asked to leave your company after 36 years, because the company needs to downsize. Aging means not being able to find another job because experience doesn’t count.
Aging really means you have more wisdom and experience, commit fewer crimes, getAll Reviews