New Posts Loving House

Welcome to AbileneLoving.com! Abilene Loving is an advice columnist and reviewer. Her fantasy house, above, is the place where no problem is too big to solve, no issue too small to discuss, no person too old to get enjoyment out of life. Abilene herself is 63. She spent most of her life as a journalist, and she credits the school of hard knocks for her best education. To read or submit advice columns, click either the Advice or Ask categories on the right. To read or submit book, movie or "anything goes" reviews or comments, click the Reviews category. To join the book club, click Reviews category, then Books.

(Illustrations by sunshowerrose@live.com)

Dear Abilene


Young Love, First Love . . .

After 48 years years, I want to drop a note to the fellow who was my first love. I am married for 45 years this year. I just wanted to say hi, ask how life has been to him. No other intentions. Bad idea ?


What Is a ‘Friend’?

What does a woman really mean when she refers to you as a friend after several months?


Stepson seems remote

I just recently got married to a lovely woman from the Philippines. She has a 12-year-old son, who seems to like me. I have known them both almost two years, made two trips over to their country before tying the knot, but since our marriage in March 2014, he does not really communicate with me anymore. His English is not that good. His mother was a widow for about eight years, so now the boy has a father in his life, but it just seems to me that he has not accepted me.

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Loving Book Club I — Richard Ford’s ‘Canada’

Let the reading begin!

We’ll start with reality fiction, of which Richard Ford  is a master.  His new book is Canada, available in hard cover and on e-books.  Ford chronicles a robbery, a suicide, the disintegration of a family, two murders — all measure by measure.  If you ever asked the question, “How did they ever live through that?” you will know.  They just kept taking one step at a time, eating when possible, staying away from goons, knowing when to accept help, noticing things carefully, thinking as little as possible.

Another Ford book, The Sportswriter, is the


‘He’s Wearing a Moose Hat!’

Rescue Me, He’s Wearing a Moose Hat

   And  40 Other Dates After 50

By Sherry Halperin

Seal Press, 2005


For single  women over 50, this book is a must read. Halperin was widowed in her early 50s.  When she recovered her equilibrium, she accepted blind dates from friends and subscribed to a number of Personals services. Her adventures through her many misfires are hilarious.

For example, “Jerry” started off the relationship by talking a little dirty on the telephone. It was a turnoff  but also fascinating. Halperin decided to meet him for coffee. He said he’d be wearing


One Nasty Wrinkle at a Time

By Abilene

What is aging? It’s getting older, one nasty, little wrinkle at a time. It’s getting spider veins and arthritis and fibromyalgia and high blood pressure. It’s not being able to eat hot Mexican food followed by a quart of chocolate ice dream.  It’s giving up smoking and hard alcohol and red meat and long hikes.

Aging is being asked to leave your company after 36 years, because the company needs to downsize. Aging means not being able to find another job because experience doesn’t count.

Aging really means you have more wisdom and experience, commit fewer crimes, get

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